Something is broken...and I don't know what it is...so I'm not even sure I know how to fix it...I'm not sure if I'm depressed, or have some anger issues, or what's going on, but I feel myself right on the edge of destructive mode...like I'm one step away from losing all control...I know this initiation thing is a lot of it, but I just feel like there is something deeper, something more that I need to get to the root of...I need therapy or something...family therapy, personal therapy...I just need to figure out what's wrong...I know there's something off..something not working right..something broken...I need help figuring out what it is...today has been a very stressful day...Allen had duty yesterday...then a golf tournament today...so I haven't seen him..not had any of his help getting the house ready for my Dad and his fiance to come...I've steam cleaned the couch, carpets, cleaned the house, finished the laundry...made their bed...I went to Lowe's to return the steam cleaner, and pick up more cleaning supplies...then took the kids to the Commissary to pick up groceries...what a mistake...remind me to never go there again on a Saturday morning with 3 kids..the day after pay day...I know I lost my patience more than once...the kids must think I'm terrible...the house is as clean as it's going to get...I've mopped the kitchen..loaded/unloaded the dishwasher...washed the cupboards...cleaned the bathrooms...vacuumed the rooms I didn't steam clean...all the while feeding the kids..playing with the kids..changing dirty bums...I'm embarrassed at the state of the yard...but I just can't muster the energy to get out there and cut the grass...instead I'm just going to play the song "welcome to the jungle" as my Dad and Martina arrive....it's that bad...yes..something is broken...and I gotta figure out how to fix it...I hope I don't work next Sunday...I really think Church might be a big help...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Oh Christy ... I wish I would have known! I would have come over even if the kids were sick! I am so sorry I did not get by to see you again. I love you, please call me when I get home.
Hang in there girl!! This chief thing is soooooo stressful and then family visiting and no one to help clean a house that inhabits 2 adults (one most likely a slob due to no time @ home, at least thats how my dh is when work "calls") 3 young kids and pets!?? If we weren't sick I would have been there in 1.2 miles ;) let the kids run off and clean clean clean! We SO have to plan girls night soon, sorry I couldn't have been of help! You are an awesome mom, so what if you lose patience occasionally, esp under the circumstances (payday at the big C!? You were brave...LOL, my kids might have been left there in the return bin! ;) )..... Ok pep talk over, call me anytime and chin up!!! Luv ya, Nanette
I love you. I'm here. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do. Anything. Take the kids. Hold your hand. Clean your house. Anything. I love you.
Post a Comment