The Navy

ugh..where do you begin to explain to someone what it's like to live in complete limbo?? IT SUCKS!!

First Allen was suppose to be gone for 7 weeks..happened to be over the due date..we were emotional..came to terms with it..but knew he'd be home and Hayley would be 5 weeks old..and he'd have lots of time with her then..

THEN..it was 7 months they were going to go..that was a hard pill to swallow..thankfully shortlived..we then went back to 7 weeks..

THEN..less than a week before the original date of departure..it was CANCELLED..he wasn't going ANYWHERE..YEEHAW!! We were THRILLED...Daddy was going to see his last baby being born..

THEN with not a weeks notice they were leaving again..for 5 weeks..unfortunately we knew he'd likely miss the birth..his return date was not too long after my due date..however..I've never gone late with babies..we came to terms with it..easily as we'd already pretty much emotionally prepared ourselves for it..

THEN..while on this little surge deployment..his boss..and HIS boss come to him and tell him that while in Port..if I were to go into labour/have the baby..they would get him home..let me repeat..THEY CAME TO HIM..

Last night..again..one of the big guys pulls him aside and says..decision time Bowman..if you want to go..you gotta go tomorrow..we didn't know what to decide..burn leave with him coming home and waiting for baby..or maximize leave with him home with baby upon his return..we opted to wait until we knew how far along I was dilated etc..finally made the decision..moved money around so he could have enough to get himself home if stranded somewhere etc..only to find out..the bosses boss hadn't ran it by his boss and it turns out he says no..so Allen is not coming home early..will miss Hayley's birth after all..and I feel so emotionally drained from the ups and downs..that I could bury my head in my pillow..blah..

I'm mad at myself for ever getting my hopes up..but it's hard to do when these pretty high up guys tell you one thing..then change their minds..we didn't ASK for Allen to come home..he was given the offer..and thought it was legit..coming from the sources it was coming from..oh well..you live and learn..as far as return date for Daddy now?? I wont believe it until I see it..

Thank GOD for the friends in my life..